Something for Everyone!
 
HomePortalGalleryCalendarRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Resume Gaffs:

Go down 
AuthorMessage
Colossus
Moderator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 106
Location : Here
Job/hobbies : Yes
Humor : Nope
Registration date : 2008-02-02

PostSubject: Resume Gaffs:   Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:34 am

Resume Gaffs:

Unintentional yet funny gaffs from real job application forms

1. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."

2. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."

3. "As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments."

4. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chainstore."

5. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

6. "Marital status: often. Children: various."

7. "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions."

8. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

9. "Finished eighth in my class of ten."

10. "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Colossus
Moderator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 106
Location : Here
Job/hobbies : Yes
Humor : Nope
Registration date : 2008-02-02

PostSubject: Re: Resume Gaffs:   Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:35 am

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Lil' Turtle
TSS Gold Star Moderator & Member
TSS Gold Star Moderator & Member
avatar

Female Number of posts : 882
Age : 47
Location : Texas
Job/hobbies : ANIMALS
Humor : G-Rated
Registration date : 2008-04-08

PostSubject: Re: Resume Gaffs:   Sun Apr 20, 2008 1:24 am

THOSE WERE FUNNY

_________________


http://tss-forums.forummotion.com/index.htm
Lil' Turtle
~&
Moderator
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Flower
VIP
avatar

Female Number of posts : 458
Location : with the other flowers
Job/hobbies : yes
Humor : uh huh
Registration date : 2008-03-06

PostSubject: Re: Resume Gaffs:   Sun Apr 20, 2008 6:39 pm

Colossus wrote:
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Sounds like a man wrote these.... Suspect laff laff laff wtf laff laff laff
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.yikers.com/forums/
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Resume Gaffs:   

Back to top Go down
 
Resume Gaffs:
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» "Belle famille" --A.Dreyfus--Résumé complet en français--interviews-revues de presse
» Date for libel trial to resume
» US and South Korea resume drills being stopped due to escalating tensions and threats of war from Pyongyang, - AP

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
TSS -Things, Stuff & Such :: Things, Stuff & Such :: That's Funny or Maybe Not....-
Jump to: