Jokes

I'm making a section to put your jokes in if they are not of the naughty nature.

To Be 6 Again...



A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.

'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it wa s off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six again??'
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. 'I meant my dress size, you idiot!'




The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong.

Sounds about right.

I tell, it is more accurate then ya think.

During the first year of marriage, the husband speaks and the wife hears.
During the second year, the wife speaks and the husband hears.
During the third year both of them speak, but only the neighbours hear.
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A man to his friend: "At my house I always say the last word".
His friend: "What is the word?"
The man: "I am sorry. Forgive me"
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Together At Last

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, Her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.
Marie's funeral is a sad one as she goes to join her departed husband. Standing near the casket, a mourner keeps repeating, "At last they're together. At last they're together."

A mourner whispers, "Why are you making such a tumult? She was a tramp even when Nick was alive. What's with this nonsense...at last they're together!"

The first mourner responds, "I'm talking about her LEGS! At last they're together!"
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lol hee hee !! i like that one

The second one sounds to good to be true.

Lol i think i peed my pants on that one...

Miracle grow....

Quote :

Knock Knock

Quote :

Who's there?

Quote :

Amos

Quote :

Amos who?

Quote :

Amosquito

I thought this was funny.

I guess "knock-knock" jokes aren't all that popular here....everyone is too sophisticated?

Naaaahhh, this just passed by unread or there woulda been much laughter.

Lol I liked that one....My coworkers liked it too

U.S.S Glory, 16 May 2002: 0130

Glory: Attention, unidentified vessel. Our paths are going to cross. We suggest you change course to avoid collision.

Unidentified Vessel: Negative, we suggest you change course as soon as possible.

G: Unidentified vessel, collision impact 90 seconds; you must change course.

U: Negative, you must change course immediately.

G: The is the U.S.S Glory, we order you to change your course immediately.

U: This is a lighthouse, get turning, boy!

lol. That is pretty funny.

lol very cute